Bismillahirrahmanirrahim .
Holiday's almost over , I see .
By this night , I would be in KTT ,
start to struggle over and over again .
I didn't enjoy this holiday , or should I say
I was totally upset with everything that happened .
First with the study , then it started to get worst .
But that doesn't really matter .
What's important is I realised I became so weak again .
Crying easily over small matter , get mad with everything .
It is so tiring . I tried to think , what makes me so different now .
And then I realised , the key is my heart .
I'm not able to control my heart .
My heart was getting futher away from my love , Allah .
I didn't do qiam , read Quran , dhuha , like the way I used to .
And everything else was affected .
I easily get mad , frustrated , stressed and what so ever .
O' my lord , please forgive me . I'm just a weak me .
I did the same sins over and over again .
And I started to be worst .
Please guide me to be a better believer .
I'm afraid of losing you .
I promise myself , when I arrive at KTT , I'm gonna change .
It's gonna be a new brand me .
Gonna be stronger , working harder , nicer , and what so ever .
InsyaAllah . May Allah bless . :)
