Yusuf bin Ahmad .
A short combination of name represents a gentle man that I adored much .
There's so much about him that amazed me .
He was totally different with those guys I know before .
He just...nice . :)
Being with him , even in a short time ,
change my thought and made me believe
that there are still nice guys out there .
'Memburu cinta Allah' , that's what I really wanted so much .
But it just getting harder that guys in my life kept hurting me .
Now that Allah made me know this guy ,
and made me like him for reasons , I believe . :)
This time around it was different .
Saya menyayanginya kerana Allah .
I know , I don't deserve to say that . But it just happen .
It feels like I want to protect him from being hurt ,
make sure he will be a really nice guy till the end ,
wanting him to meet a nice girl and marry her like he deserves .
This relationship will be a burden of sins for him so I broke it up .
And I know just how much I don't deserve this good guy .
Loving someone is not always owning but wanting the best for them . :)
Now that , this feeling for him , wouldn't harm nor hurt me .
So now I can concentrate on looking for what I want .
But , tipulah kalau cakap aku tak sedih langsung .
Bukan senang nak dapat laki baik macam dia .
And then , senang2 je aku nak lepaskan .
Tp aku lebih menginginkan cinta Ilahi yang hakiki .
And thanks God he supports me for that .
We will stay friend as it is the best for us .
With God willing , he will be the last guy I ever had feeling for ,
before looking for my true love and say "Uhhibbuka Fillah" to the right guy .
"Cinta yang kucari adalah Cinta Ilahi .
Hati ini masih belum benar-benar mencintai Ilahi .
Aku tidak rela meretakkan cinta yang kusulam dengan cinta ajnabi .
Carilah cintaNya yang hakiki , nescaya kau tidak kecewa dengan duniawi ."
I will holding onto this words from now on . :')
I praise Allah for arrange my life this way .
He keep give me guidance and love me more , though countless sins I made .
I believe that there are thousands wisdom behind everything that happen .
InsyaAllah ;')
